Europe Won’t Rescue the Hearts of Black Women, Here’s Why
European monarchies built and waged their power upon our deaths and our blood. Within this context, how could we possibly expect them to value Blackness?
By Nn...
Relationships
Black Women Aren’t Boycotting “Black Panther” Because of Michael B. Jordan’s Alleged Girlfriend
Stop believing what other people have to say about Black women, and start believing what Black women have to say about ourselves.
This week, rumors about actor...
Fat, Black Femmes: Do Our Black Masculine Queens Love Us?
As fat, Black femmes: how can we navigate and decolonize the politics of desirability?
By Tina Colleen
Black queer women and femmes and female identify peop...
Romance is Not Universal, Nor is it Necessary.
As sexist and misogynistic as it is heteronormative, this inordinate value placed on romance and marriage is consistently used to devalue single and unmarried w...
When My Girlfriend Does My Hair, I Learn What Love Feels Like
I feel like I am finally experiencing the love that has always been my due, not just as a black woman but as a creature on Earth.
By Kim Wong-Shing
Knuckles...
Our Ideas of Romance Are Abusive
We are not allowed to hold someone emotionally hostage until they give us what we want, forcing them to swallow their own feelings, desires, and needs in order ...
I Am Shamelessly Single And Not Sorry
Whether you want a romantic relationship, partnership, marriage or none of the above–let your single flag fly unapologetically.
Think about your earliest ideas...
4 Ways to Support Your Trans Woman Partner and Fight Transphobia
When your partner is a trans woman, you learn just how much transphobia she faces. To be a good partner, find ways to educate yourself and speak up for her.
I'...
Crazy Talk: Can Mentally Ill People Be In (Healthy) Relationships Together?
It’s an ableist assumption that people with mental health struggles can’t be together -- it suggests that only neurotypical people are “good” at relationships.
...
Dear Virgie: Why Don’t More Fat Activists Talk About Being Fat, Single and Happy? (Part 1)
Fat activists balk at the opportunity to explore being fat and single for myriad reasons, including a desire to empower fat people by imagining them having happ...
“Unicornland” Creator Lucy Gillespie Talks Sex Parties, Kink, Polyamory and Getting it Right
"I wanted to write something that portrayed a young woman's journey of sexual exploration, and that was an introduction to the New York scene's wonderful secret...
Saying “I’m Not Into Black Girls” Isn’t a Preference. It’s Racist.
Under white supremacy, black women can be lots of things -- but they aren't seen as dateable. Guess what? White people who believe this are racist.
One of the ...
I Came Out As a Lesbian — And Then Fell in Love With a Man
I can’t remember ever not feeling like a lesbian. It’s who I am. But then I met this boy.
Last spring, I fell deeply, deliriously, overwhelmingly in love. I’ve...
Self-Care Sunday: 4 Tips For Fighting FOMO
The fear of not being heard, not being a strong ally, not being everywhere at once -- FOMO -- plagues the modern world.
This weekend marks the Women's Marc...
13 New Year’s Resolutions Actually Worth Making
With the whirlwind of the holiday season beginning to settle down, you might find that you have a bit more time to yourself. Sometimes things can feel a little ...
Is Veganism Body-Negative? Ask A Fat Vegan.
“Just to be clear -- I want real meat and real cheese on mine.”
An eyebrow raised emphatically, gaze pointed in my general direction -- just vague enough to ...
6 Ways to Take the Stress Out of Road Trips
Is there anything more satisfying than hitting the open highway for road trips? At some points of my life, my job required me to live on the road. I wasn’t a tr...
Dear Virgie: How Do I Get Off This Horrible Weight Loss/Dating Rollercoaster?
Dear Virgie,
My mother always taught me that the sure-fire way to catch a man was to lose weight while you were single. So now every time I’m single I go...
Teach Me How to Poly(am): I’m Polyamory-Curious But Unsure of the Rules
Dear Mickey,
I'm not currently in a relationship but I have often thought about polygamy. I have contemplated being in a relationship where me and my par...
Why I Almost Chose an Arranged Marriage
Image by Saad via Unsplash.
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to get married. A huge part of this desire was most certainly Disney movies and romantic...
Decolonizing My Pussy: Moving Through Body Shame, Gender Dysphoria, and Sexual Abuse
I’m understanding my body, my gender, and my identity more and more every day that I decolonize and divest from white supremacist patriarchal ideologies.
All m...
How to be in a Relationship When One of You Is Healing from Trauma or Abuse
Image by melancholik. Creative Commons license.
by The Mystical Sister
When an adult enters psychotherapy, they are actively taking on a massive task: re...
Daily Share: Maple Match, the App for U.S. Ex-Pats Seeking Canadian Love and Green Cards
Oh, Canada...
I am comfortable (and cocky) enough to say that no truly intelligent person is comfortable with Donald Trump being POTUS. Yes, there are Trump...
You’re Out of My Mind: A History of Ghosting
Beeeep. The same message as always. “Hey, where have you been? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you.”
I slammed the receiver down. It had happened to me ...
Two Years After An Abusive Relationship, My Memories — and PTSD Triggers — Haunt Me
They’re right about recovering from toxic and abusive relationships: it’s hard. Especially when both parties fucked up. Relationships, even the toxic an...
It Wasn’t My Husband’s Girlfriend Who Betrayed Me: Why I’m Done Blaming the Other Woman
Photo by Jasleen Kaur. Creative Commons license.
by Jody Allard
If Beyoncé wrote the soundtrack of my life, she wouldn't describe my husband's other woma...
When You Love Someone Who’s Chronically Ill
Photo by Caleb Knott. Creative Commons License.
Relationships can be both difficult and beautiful, no matter who you're with. When you're able-bodied and ne...
Dear Virgie: How Do I Feel Attractive Again Post-Breakup?
Dear Virgie,
I recently went through a breakup. I kind of want to go on a date soon, but I can’t believe how little confidence I have in myself right now...
Polyamory and Borderline Personality Disorder: Leave Your Assumptions at the Door
I am polyamorous.
I also have borderline personality disorder.
Add PTSD, depression, and a few other things, and this sounds like a very fun ride. Esp...
Platonic Love: Relationships Are More than Just Sex
With Valentine's day just around the corner, most folks are either making plans with their significant others or making sarcastic jokes about being alone th...
6 Steps to Finding Self-Love After Heartbreak
"You know what makes me feel AWESOME about myself? Messy heartbreak!" – No-one, ever.
When you've deeply loved someone and that love dissolves or meets a sud...
How to be Loved When You’re Black & Broken
Content Warning: This article contains topics such as trauma and suicide
Do I deserve love from others when I can’t love myself? Can I learn to...
Avoiding Message Fatigue: How to Get to the Dating Part of Online Dating
by Lu C. Huynh
For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of online dating, you’re missing out on heart-racing sparkling conversations over messaging pl...
The Perils of Online Dating
By Lu C. Huynh
The internet dating scene is full of dick pics, and you plan to online date, it’s best to accept this now. Let’s not confuse things. ...
9 Ways to Navigate the Holidays With Your Conservative Family
Say it with me now: "I will not disrespect my elders, nor will I be their punching bag."
Sometimes finding a balance between respecting and dis...