If you’ve never been to a Good Vibrations, you have no idea what you’re missing. It’s a classy sex shop. That’s right, classy, not creepy. Don’t get me wrong, I love to gawk and squeal at the disturbing dildos in The Castro as much as the next straight girl, but it’s nice to go to a sex shop where nothing looks cheap or leaves me shaking my head, asking, “Why? Dear God, why?” Here are my top finds at my favorite sex shop, located at 3219 Lakeshore Ave.

We Vibe 4 Couple’s Vibrator ($159)

— A close friend of mine told me about the We Vibe back in the day of the original series, and I can’t wait to buy one for myself one of these days. This is basically an incredible rechargeable clip-on vibrator that can be used before or during sex (depending on girthage) and is operated with a handheld remote control. My friend told me about how she and her man used this product on “Boss Night”. On Boss Night (which is a monthly thing for them) whatever the boss says, goes, and they trade off being the boss each month. So, on a happy Boss Night, years ago, my friend’s man made her wear hers while they ate at a cheap Korean restaurant, and he was in charge of the vibration patterns and intensity. The product boasts about how quiet it is, so hell, you could probably wear it at the cafe. The website also says, “The new “Echo” pattern throbs between the two ends of the vibe for maddeningly delicious in-then-out stimulation.” Road trip, anyone?

We Vibe 4

Sportsheets Our First Bondage Kit ($24)

— This is a sweet little starter kit. It includes four soft cuffs and tethers and a soft blindfold. Pair it with the Ostrich Feather Body Tickler, because I said so.

Our First Bondage Kit

Sportsheets Under The Bed Restraint System ($62)

— Read to graduate from a nice little starter kit? Upgrade to this system. Because I said so.

Under the Bed Restraint System

The Liberator (ramp starts at $170) — I got my last boyfriend the Liberator Black Label Series Ramp and Wedge Combo for his last birthday, and believe you me, it was well received. Ever tried a pillow under the hips during sex? That’s nothing. The Liberator is essentially a body support system for getting’ down—like portable sex furniture that allows for all sorts of fun positioning to ergonomically spice up any repetitive repertoire. I chose the Black Label Series, which features ankle and wrist cuffs and tethers and a blindfold, because me likey, but the store carries the original series, as well, which comes in a variety of colors. It’s not likely you’ll start using the Liberator every time you get busy, but this product is so sexy, I masturbated to an online video about it before purchase. Seriously, this makes for an awesome gift. Buy it for bragging rights alone. But also for the sex stuff.


Bound to Please Paddle ($55)

— Do you and/or your lover like a good paddling now and again? One of the many lessons I learned in my last relationship is that I do. I wouldn’t have guessed it, but if you like having your ass smacked, you might want to take it to the next level occasionally. And who doesn’t want to thwack their significant other from time to time? With this Bound to Please Paddle, everyone wins. In some relationships, anyways.


Ostrich Feather Body Tickler ($10)

— Because I said so.


Solar Bullet-The Totally Sun-Powered Stimulator ($35)

— Gotta love the Bay area.

Solar Bullet

Ladies Night Board Game ($15)

— Planning on spending the night with your single girl friends? Beyonce your way into this game.


Pecker Cake Pan ($18)

— Can I just say, I absolutely hate the word pecker. But I love cock and I love cake, so go bake a cock. Let me be clear-this is not a recommendation for a gift from a straight man to a straight woman, though, you know your relationship better than I do. But for a single straight girl or gay man, this phallus is sure to please.

Pecker Cake Pan