I Have Eyes & I Like To Decorate Them

It’s still a little weird to me that I write semi-regular articles about makeup. I only started wearing makeup a few years ago and my “skills” are self-taught. Sometimes I feel like a bit of a fraud. I mean, I know I rock lipstick and eyeliner, but I don’t fuck with eyeshadow yet, I just don’t have the patience. And I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than 10 minutes in one sitting putting on makeup. Well, except for when I spent two hours putting on eyeliner and taking pictures of it for you for this article. You’re welcome. Eyeliner is awesome, I spend way too much money on it, and you might as well benefit from my addiction. Someone should. Here’s a review of 5 different brands and types of eyeliner. Three of them are sparkly. I like sparkly. I only put eyeliner on my upper lids and have no idea how to do it on the bottom, so please don’t ask.

Don't judge the bags under my eyes. I'm tired. And I don't believe in photoshop.

Don’t judge the bags under my eyes. I’m tired. And I don’t believe in (or know how to use) Photoshop.

1. Ulta Metallic Automatic Eyeliner in Golden Eyes, $8 at Ulta.com

Pros: It’s cheap, you don’t have to sharpen it, and you can feel like Cinna from The Hunger Games.

Cons: This liner isn’t very high-quality, and doesn’t stay all day.

Tips: Don’t try cat eye with this, it doesn’t work. I prefer using this in the bottom corners of my eyes to brighten them, while using a bolder eyeliner for the top lids.


Oh good, the bags look better. Yay Lush Emotional Brilliance face powder.

Oh good, the bags look better. Yay Lush Emotional Brilliance face powder.

2. Starlooks Gem Eye Pencil in Ultra Olive, $17 at starlooks.com

Pros: Glides on easily and beautifully. It’s glittery and shimmery but not in a gaudy way.

Cons: Doesn’t stay as well or as long as liquid liners. Not great for daytime or hot weather.

Tips: Keep the tip sharp. This is the only real eye pencil I own, and I still insist on doing cat-eye with it. Don’t listen to anyone who says you need liquid liner for the cat-eye. Keep the pencil sharp, pull your eye taut, start from the outside and draw in toward your eye. Boom.

I went extra-dramatic with the cat eye, just for you.

I went extra-dramatic with the cat-eye, just for you.

3. Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner in Midnight, $20 at stilacosmetics.com

Pros: Lives up to its name by lasting even more than a day. The color is bold and it dries quickly. I have this in three colors and the only reason I don’t have it in all the colors is because I don’t have $300 lying around to get all 15.

Cons: It’s expensive, but worth the price. The felt tip can get a little ragged, which is annoying.

Tips: Always shake it before you use it. I know, shaking things is annoying, life is super hard, but it makes the felt tip easier to use.


Mermaid Eyes

Mermaid Eyes

4. Nicka K New York Shimmer Eyeliner in Blue, discontinued

Pros: I feel like a mermaid when I wear this. The color is beautiful and it stays in place better than any other liquid I’ve ever used.

Cons: The plastic or rubber or whatever it is applicator is a little irritating on my eyelids. And it takes a very specific, and somewhat rare, occasion to wear sparkly sky blue eyeliner.

Tips: Oops, I didn’t realize this was discontinued until I tried to find it for you online. I got it in an ipsy bag a couple months ago. You can still get in on ebay for $2.49. Or just be mad at me for recommending an eyeliner for you that doesn’t exist anymore.


Luckily, the purple doesn’t highlight my purple undereye circles.

5. Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in Riot, $20 at urbandecay.com

Pros: I’m kind of obsessed with these creamy, smooth, long-lasting eyeliners from Urban Decay. They really do glide right on and have a subtle shimmer that makes me swoon.

Cons: Doesn’t stay as well as liquids. Setting powder or something would probably help, but that sounds like a lot of work.

Tips: Like all non-liquid liners, keep it sharpened and don’t fear the cat-eye.