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Bay Area (and internationally renowned) sex shop Good Vibrations first started National Masturbation Month in the ’90s to fight the negative stigma around masturbation. It was a direct result of Surgeon General Dr. Jocelyn Elders’ firing, which came after she suggested masturbation should be part of youth sex-education programs.

… because, clearly, it’s better for kids to get each other pregnant than to learn effective ways to snap one off.

Some things do not need captions.

They chose “the merry, merry month of May” because of its pagan link to sex and sexual awakening, as well as its lovely alliterative effective. Nothing like a mnemonic to remind you to buy a new vibrator, right? We can’t all have million-dollar pussies like Gwyneth Paltrow, but there’s something for everyone at Good Vibrations if you’re tired of the good ol’ fashioned solo rub down.

Good Vibrations offers some helpful links on how to choose a vibrator, dildo, how to ejaculate with a vagina, how to enjoy anal, and how to have sex with a male partner or anyone else who wants to be penetrated. Watch Margaret Cho and Violet Blue talk about “pegging” here. For a list of their customer favorites, check out these tried and true goodies.

So buy a new vibe, get a pizza and tell everyone else to fuck off while you do just that by yourself this weekend.

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Laurel Dickman is an intersectional feminist, plus size model, stylist, and fat activist that can also be found via her blogs, Exile In Dietville and 2 Broke Bitches. She grew up in the south between Florida and North Carolina, migrating to the Portland, OR in 2005. All three places inform her perspective of the world around her a great deal. While in Portland, she worked with the Alley 33 Annual Fashion Show, PudgePDX, PDX Fatshion, Plumplandia, and numerous other projects over the near decade that she was there. In August of 2014, she moved to the Bay area with her partner, David and trusty kitty, Dorian Gray. She continues her body positive and intersectional feminism through various forms of activism, fashion, photography projects, and writing from her home in the East Bay. She can be reached at laurel@wyvmag.com and encourages readers to reach out to her to collaborate!

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