3   +   2   =  

Welcome to Part 2 of my feverishly anticipated “How to Wear Vintage” series! This week, I play some Spy Games. I like the idea of my vintage clothing being exotically undercover, like a shift dress version of Noor Inayat Khan. (Every fibre of my being right now wants to make a “Khaaaaaan!” joke but I’ll refrain because Ms. Khan was actually 100% incredible and amazing and unworthy of being the butt of a privileged Millennial’s nerd jokes.)

Anyway, it adds a frisson of excitement to my wardrobe to be wearing a vintage dress from the 70s- that’s in disguise as a dress from the 30s. “Am I getting away with it?” my dress wonders, heart pounding. If she’s caught, exposed for who she really is, she’ll be ripped off my body, put up against a wall, and perhaps, if she’s lucky, she’ll be granted one last cigarette to savor.


Have you ever been told that you have resting bitchy face? I've NEVER heard that. Nope, never! (sobs in corner)

Why, yes! I HAVE been told I suffer from Bitchy Resting Face. However could you tell?

Well, I think she’s getting away with it in this smart little jade-green number. The subtly prominent shoulders, the neat row of buttons, and the straight pencil-cut of the skirt all hint at the 1940s, but the tag says otherwise. The bow at the neck is pure 70s secretary dress, which I love, but the fabric is of a much higher quality than most of the flimsy, mad-scientist-produced polyester blends of the time. Groovy. Or rather: NOT groovy.


secretary dress bow oakland vintage
I didn’t want to go too costume-y, so I got a little weird from the neck up. My lips are a bit Goth but the rest of my face is basically make-up free (brows excepted, duh) and my I put my hair into a boyish pompadour. This is one of those pictures I might look at in a decade and think “Girl, WHAT?” but for now, I’m feeling pretty sassy.


IMG_5291 copy
I love this floaty, modest floral dress. It’s masquerading as a 30s day dress, but judging from the label and the feel of the fabric, is actually from the mid-70s. It makes me feel like Mia Farrow in The Purple Rose of Cairo, just a little sassier and less of a sad-sack. (I enjoy that movie a lot, but can’t help rolling my eyes every time she’s klutzes something up and thinking, pull it together, girl!)


I had originally put up my hair, but it ended up making the outfit look too prim ‘n proper. So I let it loose and scrubbed off most of my makeup for a casual, almost underdone look. Go ahead and blow, wind! I cried out to the elements. You’ll only make my hair look even better!


I love the delicate lace collar: it’s got that wide lapel going on that was so sadly popular in that era, but much more feminine and dainty.
I ended up wearing the same shoes and earrings with each dress: it wasn’t really on purpose but they just got on like Peanut Butter and Marshmallow Fluff.


modcloth shoes
I almost never order clothes and shoes online (so much potential for heartbreak and return shipping) but these Modcloth oxford heels worked out totally non-disatrously. They’re vegan suede, fairly comfy, and look vintage-y but not costume-y. As for these earrings, I will ashamedly admit I got them at Target (Tarzhay for you basic bitches out there, me included) as part of a pack of 6 different silver studs. I’ve always been more of a gold lady but I’m warming up to silver, and these ones go with just about anything. The pack was only $7.99 because of, you know, Indonesian baby slaves.


silver earrings
Stay tuned for Part 3: as long as you survive Part 2 without getting your cover blown. Stay fab and don’t let the Ruskies get ya!