8   +   1   =  

faux vintage

Did I just give myself away as a musical theater nerd with that title? Well, I’m comfortable enough with myself to admit it. I’m like that dude in the jewelry commercial who shouts “I LOVE THIS WOMAN!” to all the uncaring European peasants, bemused pigeons, and now-humiliated fiance in the quaint cobblestoned courtyard. “I LOVE MUSICAL THEATER!” I sing-speak dramatically, but you, thankfully, remind me that this piece is supposed to be about vintage, not Sondheim.

Well, you’re right. And what I was trying to say with that title is that wearing vintage in your day-to-day life is possible: you just have to not care about it too much. Don’t be a try-hard: fashion is fun! This is the first of a series of pieces where I demonstrate how to incorporate vintage in a way that DOESN’T make you look like you’re auditioning for that West Side Story remake.

So, Lesson 1: Wear vintage-inspired pieces instead of actual vintage

twirling copy

There’s no point wearing a circle skirt if you aren’t going to twirl in it.

This skirt looks like a duck and quacks like a duck but is not, in fact, vintage. I got it at Buffalo Exchange for a paltry $15, and I like it oh so much better than actual vintage circle skirts I’ve owned! Modern fabrics have certain advantages over older ones: they’re usually lighter, more comfortable, and have a little “give” to them. Of course, they also don’t have that delicious “old” smell that I honestly love. But every rose has it’s thorn, as a wise glam-rock power ballad once told us.

Here’s step 2: mixing vintage flair with modern wardrobe basics. I paired the faux-vintage skirt with a very non-vintage shirt:


My makeup, too, stayed modern. Instead of a red lip, I tried to keep it summery with a semi-glossy bubblegum pink. Plus, I can’t keep my lipstick from smearing to save my life, so red lips are a bit too high maintenance for me.

My hair (two front twists pulled back into a twisted bun) is terribly 2014 as well. Yes, geez, I go on Pinterest sometimes! How could you tell?  I can do a fairly passable Victory Roll but now is not the time to do so. Summer vintage should be casual and comfy, and I don’t want to worry about bobby pins falling out.

hair twist

I’m using this as an excuse to FLAUNT my almost-grown out bangs. Some of you doubted me, but take a look NOW, assholes! I may never have finished that online HTML course, completed my novella, or even wrapped up that fridge clean I started 2 weeks ago, but I’ve persevered with my bangs.

vintage shoes

These shoes? The only actual vintage part of this whole outfit.

Stay tuned for more nuggets of wisdom, wherein I impart lessons on mixing vintage, when to deploy vintage-inspired hair, and when to just let your inner Maria out and dress just like you’re auditioning for West Side Story after all! (And feel so pretty, witty, and gay!)