From A Bad Bitch Playlist To A Staycation: 14 Ways to Survive Valentine’s Day
We deserve better than to be subjected to capitalist ideas of love during Valentine’s Day. Take the time to celebrate yourself with these ideas.
Ah, Valentine’s Day. It’s the Superbowl for Lovers. It marks the official end of the long-ass season known as cuffing season that started in September or November of the previous year. If you survived the season and emerged with a warm body next to you, this is the season for you. If not, well… another year, another opportunity for corporate America to subtweet your existence for not being quick enough or dedicated enough to attach-yourself-by-the-hip to someone you kinda like in an effort to be rewarded with an okay teddy bear and a mediocre box of chocolates.
Of course, you could wallow in it like it wants you, but where’s the fun in that? There’s nothing wrong with being single (or alone) if that’s what you want, no matter how busy capitalism is trying to convince you otherwise. So, for the occasion, here are fourteen things you can literally do by yourself (or with a friend) as counterprogramming:
This is for all the people in a “fuck it” mood. Because at the end of the day, Valentine’s Day is just another day and you don’t have to acknowledge it if you don’t want to.
This is very closely related to doing absolutely not shit. What better way than to pass the time by visiting the cousin of death?
3. K-Drama Re-Runs
This has been a tried and true method of mine for the last four to five years. Korean television and films are in a league of their own—with many of them being highly entertaining, dramatic, well-acted, and hilarious. And there’s even a whole sub-genre for you if you’re a romantic at heart. So go ahead and turn on Coffee Prince or She Was Pretty, kick back, open a sexy bottle of Smirnoff, and consume all the pizza rolls your heart desires (I’m @-ing myself, but you’re welcome to apply this to yourself too).
4. Turn Off Social Media
This one seems a little much, but bear with me. I’m recommending a day away from social media if only for the fact that a. you should not be subjecting yourself to your friend or associate’s novel-length Facebook or Instagram post about how they’ve never experienced “a love like this” with someone they met a week ago. Just… don’t do it. Log off.
5. Reading up on the St. Valentine’s Massacre
The Prohibition Era was a wild ass time and who knew that it would lead to such colossal beef and bloody battle between the Irish North Siders (lead by George “Bugs” Moran) and their Italian South Side nemesis (lead by Al Capone)? Sounds interesting? It is. And there’s no better day than to read up on murder, crime, and mayhem than Valentine’s Day.
6. Galentine’s Day
While Parks and Recreation finally gave a name to this phenomenon a couple of years ago, make no mistake, [girl] friends hanging out and celebrating their love between each other rather than “romantic” love has been happening for a long time. And this is probably my favorite way to shake off the corporate bullshit.
7. Movie & Dinner Date (For Yourself)
Listen. With Birds of Prey and The Photograph coming out in like four days, this is a no-brainer, my friend. Put on something nice, head to the cinema, and then gorge yourself on your chosen cuisine right after just because you can.
8. Buy Yourself Something Fancy
Who said you have to wait for someone to buy you something nice??? If you got it, get it. Whatever it is. That new TV. That cruise. That diamond ring? Buy it for yourself. You know, as a nice flex.
9. Spa Day (For Yourself)
There’s no need to wait on someone to rub on your booty when you can pay someone to do it professionally!!!
10. Spontaneous Trip
The best trips I have ever taken are the trips I suddenly threw myself into because of, well, boredom. If you have the means to, get in your car or get on a bus and go spend the day with a friend or just pick a random town to go to and do some sightseeing in. Life is too short to be cooped up in the house if you don’t wanna be.
Recommended: SELF-LOVE IS ABOUT THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION
My other favorite. What better way than to treat or pamper yourself than with a stay at some swanky hotel… while eating all their food and stealing their toiletries (don’t steal their towels or robes, they will bill you!!!!).
12. Make a Bad Bitch Playlist
On Valentine’s Day, you may be tempted to go through your personal list of power love ballads or list of sad ass love songs, but instead of doing that, why not put on a playlist that doesn’t compel you to throw yourself out of a window? Go ahead and put on some Megan Thee Stallion, Beyoncé, Doja Cat, Rico Nasty, Lizzo, and other bad bitches.
13. Send a Heartfelt Text
If there’s some friends or family you haven’t talked to in a minute, go ahead and shoot them that “How you been?” text.
14. Send a Toxic Text
If all else fails and you don’t feel like positively-affirming yourself and your existence with any of these things I mentioned above, you can go the route that many before you have travelled, channel your inner Future, and send that “Thinking of you this Valentine’s Day [insert heart emoji here]” to your ex or that situationship that went left and watch the world burn two days before Mercury Retrograde.
Good luck to you all.
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