4   +   1   =  

Beyond the inherent vileness of these hackers is the fact that they don’t use their skills for good. Here is a list of things I wish they would rather do.

Another week in the age of technology is upon us, so that means we have reached another point in time where hackers are shopping around stolen nudes of various celebrities, including Mischa Barton (remember her?) and Emma Watson.

Am I ever surprised that there are thirsty misogynists on the net trying to find ways to use a woman’s sexual freedom and privacy against her? NOPE. Sexist hackers are predictable and boring like that.

There is no thrill for these bottom-dwelling assholes unless they can virtually assault women and our right to consent. Women ignore them and we dislike them when they meet them, so leaking nudes is their version of revenge.

Let’s make one thing very clear: anyone who searches for these leaked pictures, and anyone who publishes them, is perpetuating rape culture and participating in a virtual rape.

Beyond the inherent vileness of these piles of fuck is the fact that they don’t use their skills for good. Here is a list of things I wish they would rather do:

1. Release all of Donald Trump’s tax returns.

Hackers, get Trump!

2. Wire all of DT’s cash to black and brown immigrants, assault survivors, people with disabilities, homeless people, women’s shelters, labs that test rape kits — I could keep going.

3. Funnel sums of money from formerly slave-owning families, institutions and the government to the descendants of African American slaves.

Hackers should release money

4. Do the same as above for colonizing countries to the countries that they colonized.

5. Hack into Steve Bannon’s accounts and emails, release his private phone number and home address.

6. Defund every single white nationalist, Nazi-leaning political group in the world and install viruses in their computers and phones.

Nazi virus

7. Funnel money made by private prisons into low-income communities of color and their public schools.

8. Hack into Vladimir Putin’s computer and leak compromising information. The kind of information that benefits the press and marginalized folks.


9. Shut down Breitbart and replace it with Justin Timberlake’s old MySpace page.

10. Last but not least: reroute whitehouse.gov to pornhub.com.

White House erection

Any of these would be a better use of a hackers’ time. So get to it.