White women have a legacy of protecting white men, even if it means hindering their own progress and especially when it means gaslighting Black women.[TW- mention of sexual assault.] Men who attack and harass women, other men, non-binary, trans and gender non-conforming people live in our social circles. It’s a culture and it’s unavoidable but when we find out that someone we know has acted poorly or worse, generally, they are no longer invited out with the gang. Unless you’re Lena Dunham in which case you just claim, “insider knowledge” and accuse the victim of being part of the 3% of made up claims. Before you slide up in my Twitter mentions with your outrage, I know that Dunham issued a statement apologizing for her earlier remarks. We’re going to talk about that too and lay out why it compounds the bullshit of the original issue.
The Problem with Her First Statementhttps://twitter.com/lenadunham/status/931672937308057600 When Murray Miller was accused of raping (not just inappropriate sexual comments or touching but sexual assault) of a then 17-year-old actress, Aurora Perrineau, who happens to be a woman of color. Dunham came forward to say that she supports her friend alluding to some “behind the scenes information.” When the accused were not in her circle, she was quick to “stand with victims” and denounce the bad behavior. As soon as it was one of her friends — Miller works as a writer on her show, Girls — suddenly things aren’t so black and white. It is difficult to ignore the racial dynamics of Dunham’s statements, Perrineau is a biracial Black woman, one of the few to have made an appearance on Girls and for Dunham, who is white, to protect a cisgender white man adds layers to the racialization of rape and rape culture. White women have a legacy of protecting and electing white men, even if it means hindering their own progress. The misogynoir runs deep. This is made worse by Dunham’s position in the world. She is a well-known “feminist” actor and author. She is influential and many women see her as a voice to be listened to. Right or wrong, this is the place that Dunham occupies in our media landscape.
We support and we march in support of black men, but we can't get to work or home without fighting through dick offers and bitch insults from them.By M. Shelly Conner Let’s be clear: I paid three dollars and a hug for street harassment. Or assault. I still don’t know what to call it. I do know that I didn’t want it and felt forced to consent to it. As a genderqueer woman, I’m often taken by surprise by the unsolicited interest of men. As a black, cis-gender woman, I am surprised by my surprise. In his 1999 comedy special Bigger and Blacker, Chris Rock joked (because men are privileged to joke about rape and hebephilia) that, “every woman [in here] since [they] were thirteen, every man they met has been trying to fuck [them].” Of course most women know, depending on their development the depravity of their assailant, that age can go much lower. Rock goes on to posit that it is easy for women (and let’s include girls, since he opened that can of hebephilia with his 13-year-old starter age) to turn down sex because it is in constant supply for them. Ignoring: 1) the heterosexist framing, and 2) the assumption that women/girls are in equal positions to decline sexual advances from men as men are to decline them from women, we are still left with the idea that because “it is damn near impossible for men to turn down sex,” it is socially acceptable for men to “[offer women] dick three times a day.” Rock insists, “Every time a man’s being nice, he’s offering dick.” I don’t believe that and, of course, the joke is that neither does Rock. Far less humorous is the necessity for women to make this joke into a safe assumption. To act as if every kind offer from a man comes with an unwritten sexual addendum. To question intentions and weigh consent. In accepting a greeting of hello or a gesture of holding open a door, am I consenting to the unvocalized “offer” of sex? Although Rock uses the word offering as if it is merely a cup of tea, unsolicited dick offers in all of their myriad forms are more akin to scalping another’s head and calling it a haircut.
Incels' misogyny goes beyond everyday sexism.TW: This essay contains discussion of sexual violence and gendered violence against women. It also contains passages from men who express extremely abusive, dehumanizing, and violent misogynistic beliefs. Incel - (n.) involuntary celibate or involuntary celibacy The incel community is a monstrosity far worse than “nice guys” and those who lament about being trapped in the mythical “friend zone.” Incels not only believe that they are entitled to sex and relationships with women, but they also blame women for their loneliness and want to punish us for it. In short, they are misogynistic extremists. This extremism existed long before the likes of Elliot Rodger, the Santa Barbara shooter who murdered six people before dying by suicide because he was angry about being a virgin. While we might think of Rodger as the most well-known incel, I believe that men like him have even more infamous and even more degrading ancestral kin. Believe it or not, the term incel was coined by a woman named Alana. She created the term in the early 1990s during her time as a undergraduate student as a way to talk about her own inability to connect with people romantically as she was exploring her sexual and romantic orientations and coming into her queer identity. However, her vision became twisted when the website that she set up became populated by men who were “prone to antagonistic, repetitive complaining,” and then became even further perverted by redditors like Elliot Rodger once they got a hold of it a few years ago. They had finally found a word to attach to their already festering hatred towards women, society, and themselves because of their perpetual singlehood and lack of sexual experience. Being single is hard for a lot of people. It's now even classified as a disability by the World Health Organization. The difficulty of singlehood is not only due to the assumptions that people immediately make about your character, but is also due to lack of touch and emotional support. In male-female relationships, romantic, familial, or otherwise, the brunt of the emotional labor falls onto women because gender cultivation indoctrinates men into a kind of masculinity that forbids emotional intelligence on their part. Therefore, they rely on the women in their lives to provide the emotional support that all humans need to foster emotional, mental, and physical well-being.
Patriarchy prevents society from realizing that abuse broken down is a power dynamic that defeats the right of choice, which only harms everyone involved. By Barbara Muhumuza “People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your