It is our civil right and journalistic responsibility to make fun of Gina Rodriguez and give her the actual heebie-jeebies.
Every so often, something goes off in Gina Rodriguez’s anti-Black brain that decides it’s time to terrorize the nick gurr population once again.
There was that one time she rapped that “niggas give [her] heebie-jeebies.” Or that one time Black Panther came out and she demanded some equivalent of Latino Panther. Or that time where she cried (Error 404: tears were not found) about Black people not liking her. Or now, in what is most likely a practical joke, the LAUSD committee recently announced that she will allegedly (the tweet has since been deleted, but there is an image below) be speaking to LAUSD students during Black History Month. While most signs point to this being a hoax, it remains amusing that the group claims that she is a “Civil Rights Activist” and are trying to legitimize this by also claiming her father is Black, making her [hypothetically] Black by association when he appears to be tan… at best.
A year ago, I would have written a 30-page dissertation on why Gina has me fucked up. But instead, for our amusement, I present to you nine people and things who are better civil rights activists than Gina Rodriguez (yes, most of these examples are purely satirical):
1. Chris Evans Helping Regina King to the Stage at the 2019 Oscars
Regina King is a national treasure. A very BLACK national treasure. So it’s no surprise that Chris Evans cemented his civil rights icon status by helping this queen onto the stage to accept her rightful award.
2. Joshua Jackson
I’m tempted to give this one for merely existing… and also for knowing how to play “The Good White Person” very well… most recently in When They See Us.
3. When Little Tamara Confronted Wall Street Businessmen on Wonder Showzen
I smiled so hard last year when a 2006 clip from the sketch comedy re-emerged showing a little Black girl by the name of Tamara asking Wall Street businessmen hard-hitting questions about wealth-hoarding and capitalist exploitation. What a boss.
4. The Eagle Who Attacked Trump
In 2015, a bald eagle called Uncle Sam (yeah) attacked then-presidential hopeful Donald Trump during a photo-shoot for Time. This eagle deserves to be immortalized if only for the fact that he clearly saw America’s future and tried to warn us.
5. Chris Pine and His Singular Man Tear
You remember that one time Chris Pine cried at the Oscars while John Legend and Common performed “Glory”, from the soundtrack for Selma? Ended racism and toxic masculinity right there and then!
6. Scarlett Johansson
7. Jennifer Lopez Cosplaying Mandy Moore Cosplaying an Italian Woman
For years, Jennifer Lopez has paved the way for diversity in film by cosplaying a woman that eerily looks like Mandy Moore, as pointed it out in this THR round-table about diversity in rom-coms. And I just want to say that I appreciate her tireless work for Italian rights.
8. The Bird Who Said Housing Is A Human AND Animal Right
Hostile architecture—architecture under shitty capitalism that is supposed to deter both homeless people and animals from public spaces—has been on the rise in the last couple of years. But this past year, one brave parrot had enough and decided to dismantle such oppressive architecture themselves, piece-by-piece. We stan a leftist icon!