Are we surprised that white women are trying to play oppression olympics during a global pandemic? No. But Karen cannot resist.
So. Apparently, “Karen” became a slur overnight. And apparently one of a very classist, sexist, and racist nature.
And, apparently, it is more slur-ish than… nigga. Or excuse me, “the n-word”.
Of course, as the general populace knows, the only person who would compare a word to another word they cannot even fucking spell out without being jumped…(other than a Chad) is a Karen. So in honor of Karens being Karens and doing Karen-ass shit, here’s an official list of things and people who are more oppressed than “Karens”:
1. Gretchen Wieners
Let’s be real. Regina gave this broad a hard ass time. I would never want to be her.
2. Anyone is MARRIED to a Karen… during social distancing.
…You poor fool.
3. The manager that she always wants to speak to.
May the force always be with the theydie or gentlethem that has to stare down and incredulous, Kate-Plus-8 looking, angry-ass Karen.
4. Jaboukie Young-White
This young man has been to [Twitter] jail more times than your favorite ex. FREE HIM!
I wonder how many Karens these fuckers talk to every day. One Karen is too many to be honest.
6. Anyone who stands near a Karen wearing natural deodorant.
Have you ever stood downwind of a Karen wearing natural-ass deodorant? I have never wanted to k-word myself so bad. Like, how dare they smell like that and be so disrespectful to onions???
7. Ben Affleck
That man looks sad all the time. What is his life like? What is going on at home?? What do he even be going through???
8. A Karen’s Unwashed Leg
Imagine the injustice of making up nearly HALF of a Karen’s body and still not receiving enough respect and dignity to justify being cleaned daily. Tragic!
9. Boxed Hair Dye
Boxed Hair Dye, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that an ugly bitch like Karen would waste you and smear you all over her onion-smelling armpit hair. Oh my God.
10. Fenty 445
I mean… there’s a reason that dark broads like me can never find our fucking shades in Sephora. It’s because motherfucking Karens are rolling around in them like mud.
11. Tanning Lotion
For the same reason Ms. Fenty 445+ stays spread on Karen’s skin like a glob of Nutella.
Listen. They have a couple of bops and still… the haterism is strong when it comes to them. Why? Somebody explain it to me like I’m four.
13. Katherine Heigl’s entire career
So. While Ms. Heigl is definitely a Head-Karen-In-Charge and has been a dickhead most of her career, this girl has been taking L after L after L after L after being dishonorably discharged from Grey’s Anatomy and to be honest, while I find that HILARIOUS, I also feel a smidgen bad.
14. Khloe Kardashian
I’m not gonna lie. When Eminem put her in his song “Berzerk” and called her “the ugly Kardashian”, I gasped. I mean, there’s that and her continued relationship everyone’s favorite flavor of Groupon Peen.
15. Black men… but only slightly.
If I speak, Twitter will suspend me.