Growing up with three brothers and a mom who hit menopause when I hit puberty, I didn’t have role models for menstruation. When I got my period, I informed my mom with a post-it note asking her to buy me pads and instructing her not to talk to me about it.
I hid my tampons and pads in my room, scared that my brothers would make fun of me if I kept them in the bathroom. I longed for an older sister to talk to about blood. I was fascinated by my period and had so many questions about cramps and clots and stops and starts. Today, I am more connected to my cycle, in the way that is inevitable for a lesbian who moves to the Bay Area. I love talking about my period with other monthly bleeders, I use menstrual sponges (read my review here), I can tell when I’m ovulating and I believe in period sex.
Yes, I love dirty, bloody, messy sex on my period. Here are the top four reasons I love fucking on my period. No judgment if you are not down to fuck on yours, but I invite you to be open to the possibility that period sex might be awesome. Here’s why.
1. Free lube.
All that ooey-gooey blood makes you automatically wet. I hate wasting things, so I like to put period blood to good use by saving money on lube that week. Sure, many people might be squicked out by blood, but for those of us dirty birds who like it, bloody fingers are a badge of honor. There’s even a bloody finger emoji available from Flirtmoji, which provides sexy, dirty, kinky emojis for sexting. Look at your blood as a fun, wet addition to your sex life instead of a hindrance to getting down.
2. It helps with cramps.
Not all of us want to have sex when we’re bleeding, but an orgasm always makes my terrible cramps better. When you orgasm, blood flow increases to your uterus and endorphins are released in your brain. Cumming is nature’s pain reliever. So even if you’re too sore for penetration on the rag, try a clitoral orgasm by using your own hands, your partner’s hands, a vibrator or your partner’s mouth (assuming you are fluid-bonded, tested and they are down to lick your pussy when it’s bloody).
3. It’s dirty — and dirty is hot.
Sex is already pretty dirty, with the sweat and the fluids and the dirty talk and the sex-negative culture we live in. Menstrual blood adds another layer to that dirtiness — literally. If you’re a kinkster who’s into marking your partners/being marked by you partners, you can write your name on your sub in her blood. Or your blood. Or draw hearts and xoxo’s if you’re more vanilla. If you’re into blood play, this is a way to engage in it without knives or cutting or needles. Embrace the extra fluid in the already fluid-filled reality that is sex. Smear that blood, celebrate that blood, worship that pussy. (Towels underneath you are optional).
4. It fights misogyny.
I went off on a cis-male straight friend recently when he crinkled his nose and groaned after I mentioned I had cramps. It was fun watching his shocked face when I went on a rant about how menstruation is natural and normal and it’s misogynistic to be grossed out by it. If I can be honest that I’m not feeling well with a cold, why can’t I be honest when I’m not feeling well when I’m bleeding? Surprisingly, he listened to me and promised to think about why he was grossed out about it. In college, when I had three cis-male roommates, we would often talk about periods. I answered questions they had been afraid to ask, they listened with fascination instead of revulsion and it normalized menstruation.
I was able to openly store my tampons in the bathroom, a far cry from the embarrassment and secrecy of my adolescence spent living with three brothers. In the past, in some cultures, women were banished from the house while bleeding. We were taught that we were unclean (not in the fun way), and that we should not be touched while bleeding. Fight the patriarchy! Fuck on your period! If your partner is grossed out, ask them why. If you are grossed out, ask yourself why. Unpack their/your aversion to your beautiful body. I support you in all your menstrual endeavors, whether they involve sex or not.