Let’s cut to the chase we are great moms and we love the idea of Mothers Day but none of our runaway fantasies included; a store bought card, flowers that will die within two days, breakfast in bed 2 hours before you intended on rising served by snotty nosed kids… The fantasies below don’t even include jewelry. The truth hurts. I know.
Clearly, our incredibly supportive 50/50 husbands weren’t invited on most our runaway fantasies, unless they were heavily medicated and no, neither were our honor roll, star athlete, Harvard bound offspring…
So yes, skip the friggin cards and try this… after being a mum for 23 years, (that is 23 official mothers days for me!) I can gladly say this list is the truth.
1) No kids- THAT – IS – MY – FANTASY
2) Padded room with trashy magazines, a best friend (and no my kids are not my best friends, for god’s sake get a life) and refillable pitcher of margaritas, with periodic 2 hour massages throughout the day
3) When I drove by the airport. I’d briefly think “what if I just took this exit and got on a plane” ..alone
4) Driving off. Anywhere. Just far, far away
5) I was actually thinking this morning about running away to an island with free flowing alcohol..
6) Home ALONE
7) Private hot tub, 24/7 butler service, pack of cigarettes and new vibrator that makes no damn noise
8) Valium induced children….that-is-all, please and thank you
9) Sensory deprivation tank
I promise whoever you are, a mother (or just pretending to be one), there is one super cool or funny fantasy deep inside your Mommy psyche screaming to get out, wanting to float to the top of your thought list, amidst the brutal schedule of WorkLife- “balance” don’t fight it, the fantasy alone might bring relief to the migraine you are slowly working on as we approach the most heralded holiday of a mother’s year. Go ahead let yourself go
I once heard women who watch soap operas and read romance novels tend to have a lower rate of divorce. Quack science, perhaps, but it does make me you think