Hey! Hey, you! Ya been hittin’ the Peppermint Schnapps too hard lately? Been drinking more than your fair share of spiced mulled wine? Is this leading you to look like garbage in the morning? No worries. Here are some great tips to effectively hide your holiday hangover. So, party on, Wayne, this holiday season’ll be no problem-o.
- Cold Green Tea Bags on Eyes. This tip is the real deal. Tried and true. This will drastically decrease the puffiness of those tired eyes of yours. Just steep two green tea bags in cold water for ten minutes, then put tea bags on your eyes for ten minutes and see the difference! This also works if your night went sour and you cried yourself to sleep.
- Drink a shit load of water before bed. A metric shit load. This will, hopefully, help your head feel better and will also help your skin out. It’s just a good idea.
- Yellow highlights under eyes. The yellow will help combat the purple in the dark circles under your eyes and make it look like you got more sleep and less like you got beat up. Also, if you highlight between your brows and on your chin, it will help you fake a glow.
- Roto Ice Redness Relief Eye Drops. This will help to brighten and clear up the redness in your eyes right away. Also it has an icy finish. Which, I’ll be honest, stings a li’l, but helps wake my eyes up right away.
- A Red Lip and a Dress. The mornings when I am the most lazy, I look the most put together. Sometimes people even ask me if there is a special occasion. Whyyy? I’m wearing a red lip and a dress. So easy. Dresses are the most underrated article of clothing (I work at Anthropologie and you’d be surprised how hard it is to convince ladies that their wardrobe needs a casual dress). You don’t even have to worry about coordination! You just throw it on. Plus a red lip? Shazaaam. Put to-goddamn-gether.
- Light Eyeliner On Lower Water Line. You tryin’ to look awake? You’re welcome. White might be a little intense, but Rimmel has a light ivory eyeliner that is perfect for this! It’s not going to help to look like you want to be at work or that you’re listening to what people are saying, but it might keep people from asking if you had a rough night.
- Milk Thistle. This is a super popular herbal remedy for hangovers. It’s supposed to make your liver happy. Put 30-40 drops in a li’l bit of water and shoot it down. Then, like, have breakfast because…that’s good for you.
Go on and give yourself all the hangovers you want. You’ll be golden if you use these tricks.
And now, “What I Should’ve Said” to a line that no amount of alcohol could’ve saved.