Let’s All Be Gay Besties and/or Lovers

You may remember my article from June about the top five places to meet queers in Oakland. My list was solid but it was not exhaustive. I’ve gotten a lot of sad letters from single East Bay queers who are striking out with my five suggested places (I have gotten no sad letters from single East Bay queers who are striking out with my five suggested places). But in case you are striking out, and you are queer and lonely, here are some more places to get lucky. And if you’re straight, enjoy a voyeuristic peek into our queer little world.

 

Source: wikipedia.org

Glass dildos: don’t knock ’em til you try ’em. Also, don’t knock ’em, glass breaks. Source: wikipedia.org

1. Good Vibrations

Ah, sex shops, a mandatory stop for queers everywhere. I love the Good Vibes on Lakeshore in Oakland and have spent a fair amount of time and money there. The folks who work there are kind, knowledgeable and easy to talk to about fucking. I once started a conversation with a worker there by saying, “So this is Good Vibes, and I can talk to you about anything, right?” She nodded and I launched into an intimate discussion about dildos and and penetration and feelings with a stranger. She gave me great advice and has since sold me lots of sex toys and lube and other fun, sexy stuff. It’s a safe, sex-positive place full of pleasurable devices to enjoy by yourself or with others. And many of the people that work there are hot queers, along with many of the customers. Meow!

 

hela gay comedy festival

2. Queer Comedy Shows

Yes, this is shameless self-promotion but trust me, if you come to the queer comedy shows I produce, you will likely not go home alone. I recently co-produced the Hella Gay Comedy Festival, and there were gays for days in the audience and onstage. Speaking of gays for days: Come to my new comedy show “Gay For Days,” which will be every Thursday at Club 21 on Franklin St. in downtown Oakland. The first show is December 18th at 8 p.m., which is also my 29th birthday and you should come and laugh because I promise it will be funny and I extra-promise the audience will be full of homos.

 

I don't know if this guy is queer, but maybe! Source: oaklanddailyphoto.blogspot.com

I don’t know if this guy is queer, but maybe! Source: oaklanddailyphoto.blogspot.com

3. The grocery store/famer’s market

Like everyone else in Oakland, queers love local, organic food. You know, hippie shit. Walking around Berkeley Bowl is a a study in fabulous queer haircuts. I get overwhelmed and swoony and my heart goes all a-flutter as I encounter cute queers in every aisle. One day I will strike up the courage to talk to one, but for now I just let my eyes enjoy all the cuteness. Queers love farmers’ markets too, like everyone in the East Bay. And, yes, we shop at Whole Foods sometimes, even as we complain about how overpriced it is. It’s stupid expensive but I know you go there sometimes and I promise not to judge you. I will probably even run into you there someday… proving my point that you can meet queers in grocery stores.

 

It's really all you need. Source: wikipedia.org

It’s really all you need. Source: wikipedia.org

4. Anywhere you might meet human beings.

I’m writing this article in Portland next to my dear friend Maggie. She is not gay but she is smart and funny and it turns out she’s great at brainstorming places to meet gays. I was struggling to come up with a final place for this article and she suggested, “Uh, anywhere you might meet human beings, because gays are everywhere.” Good point, Maggie! So just go out in the world, guys. Oakland is hella gay and we’re everywhere and we’re waiting to meet you.

 

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