The first time I received an unexpected dick pic, it was over Snapchat. It was a Sunday morning, and I was lounging about the house with my husband. When the image came through, I felt sick and instantly blocked the person who did it. My husband was shocked. I have no idea why someone would think it is okay to interrupt a quiet Sunday morning with a picture of them proudly showing off their “pride and joy.”
Later that Sunday, I received another Snapchat message from someone who’d been following me on Instagram for a few months. He started off the conversation by asking how I was and how my day was going. When I told him it was only day off to spend with my husband and I was going offline, he asked if my husband was in the room. When I said he was, the guy joked that that was a shame, because he wanted to share an image of himself with me that I would have found funny, because he was “fairly small.” I told him he had crossed the line and would be blocked.
One of the most unwelcome trends of the internet age is men sending rather inappropriate pictures of themselves to women online.
Luckily, this has only happened to me three times in the 12 months since I developed my online presence. But some of the girls I speak to online receive them daily.
A week after that horrid Sunday, I received a Facebook message from someone I was not connected to. The image came from a profile which was obviously fake.
This man messaged me wanting to chat. When I told him I was busy, he asked if he could send me something. Instantly an image came through of his penis. Then he asked how he could video himself masturbating. I blocked him, screenshotted the profile image and name and warned other girls to block this person. A girl responded to me saying this profile had tried to make contact with her a few days earlier.
These messages are not welcome. Online abuse is not okay, and men need to realize that sending a “dick pic” is a form of online abuse. We do not want these images. We never have and we never will.
Women tell me that when they have asked men not to send these messages, the men become abusive and defensive. I have seen screenshots of the conversations; the men will call the woman a prude and accuse her of not knowing what a real dick is. They tell her that she needs a good “seeing to” so she will appreciate what a “real man” is. This is disgusting.
This trend needs to stop. Unfortunately, the main thing we can do is warn each other and block these guys from contacting us. Of course, we can report these images to the social-media site, but often these pictures are not considered a violation of the rules. So these men continue to get away with sending their inappropriate pictures. If they are blocked by one girl, they simply move on to the next.
Here are four reasons why I don’t want your dick pics:
1. It’s disrespectful.
I don’t think you can send these photos and also have respect for girls and women. Do you respect your mother and sisters? Are you in a relationship? Do you secretly do this while your girlfriend is out of the house? Where is your respect for her? You are obviously too narcissistic to think social rules do not apply to you.
2. It’s assault.
If you stopped me in the street and whipped out your member, I could report you and have you arrested for indecent assault. Why would it be OK for you to do it online? Are you aware that you are intimidating? You put fear into girls and women who do not want to be degraded.
3. I’m not impressed.
Trust me, your penis doesn’t impress me. So it has a unique shape, you are well endowed and you can go all night. Why would I be impressed by that? Is your life so meaningless that you need to seek validation from strangers over how fabulous your little soldier is? I am not impressed by status, wealth or dick size. I am much more impressed by what you choose to do with your life — what you stand up for and the charities you support.
4. I am not online for you.
I work online to inspire and empower other girls and women facing issues such as bullying, domestic abuse and body confidence. I use my own experiences to help others going through similar issues. I am connected to organisations that promote anti-bullying, feminist issues and empowerment. I am a busy lady who dedicates time to helping others. I am not online to receive pictures of your penis. Please keep them to yourself. Trust me, other girls and women don’t want to receive them, either!