photos of author by Carmel Hernandez

Say you have a vacation coming up, one that’s, oh… maybe somewhere tropical that will most likely mean you need to buy a bathing suit and wear sandals (ugh) like Hawaii. The one thing that goes through your mind is probably, “Okay, I have x-amount of time to get my body in vacation mode.”

Let’s stop and think about that for a second though. What does “vacation mode” mean? Does that mean we must diet and exercise for months and months until our vacation finally arrives for the sole purpose to look good by society’s standards of beauty? Like, am I supposed to miraculously have Kate Upton’s torso and boobs (wait, my boobs are already fabulous) and Nicki Minaj’s ass in x-amount of time in order to be poolside ready?!

Not gonna lie to you all – I felt that way before heading to my cousin’s wedding in Hawaii a couple weeks ago. But as the months prior to the wedding passed by, my body stayed the same for the most part. Even before their engagement, I had been taking gradual steps to a healthier lifestyle by cutting back on sweets, eating cleaner meals, taking up kickboxing, power walking, and whatnot. So I noticed that those efforts didn’t go in vain – especially in my legs. The muscles in my calves are lookin’ all kinds of ah-mazing! But still, I’m human, so naturally I’d look at my belly and the flab on my arms and feel defeated because they still looked the same.

Two weeks before the wedding, this thought popped into my head: WHO. GIVES. A. FUCK.

Seriously. Vacations are a time to relax and enjoy, not a time to stress about what a ton of strangers (who you’re never going to see again) might think of what you look like in your bathing suit, or wonder why your big toe curves the way that it does. It’s apparently also a time to get over your hatred of open-toe shoes in the name of convenience because you don’t want your leather ballet flats to get messed up in the random bouts of rain that happen throughout the day in Hawaii.

Adopting a “who gives a fuck” attitude definitely helped me get over my anxiety of showing off more skin than usual, and also picking out a bathing suit/poolside outfit that made me feel good and cute as hell too. I found one that pretty much looked like a mini dress and a bright floral print cover up to mix with the polka dots on my swimsuit. I also threw on a wide-brim hat, big sunglasses, and jelly peek-a-boo flats to complete my look and beamed as my sister said I looked like a 1940s movie star.

Retro vibes and comfy cute swimsuit kept me feelin’ good!

Giving into the “who gives a fuck” mindset is easier said than done, but as someone who has suffered from low self-esteem about their physical appearance since elementary school, you can get there if I can too! It’s all about taking baby steps. You’d probably see me rocking a two-piece if I was in a “who gives a mother-fuckin’ fuck” mindset, but I’m not quite there yet.

Once you make a few rounds in the lazy river or hot tub, you’ll forget about your insecurities. Honestly, I didn’t think twice about how fat my arms probably looked when they were thrown over the inflatable donut-looking thing as I floated down the lazy river, or how my swimsuit didn’t exactly cover my back fat. I was too busy having fun. If you allow yourself to feel defeated and decide to skip the pool (or beach, if you’re into that) altogether before you even go on your trip, then you won’t get to experience the realization of not giving a fuck. Doing that just takes away from hot tub time. DO NOT ROB YOURSELF OF HOT TUB TIME. No one gives a shit about what you look like when the jets are going on.

So the next time you find yourself going on vacation and there happens to be a pool, just find a swimsuit that you feel comfortable in — none of that shorts and a t-shirt thing though because you are lying to yourself if you think having a wet cotton t-shirt cling to your body is comfortable — grab an inflatable donut-looking thing, and float on down that lazy river, girl.

Comments